We've all heard about it, or experienced it ourselves -- a person we know and care about suddenly disappears, and then a week or so later we find out from someone that comes in that so-and-so has passed on.

Every few months this happens in SL, and almost immediately, the first thing I think is "riiiiight."  Now in a couple of cases I knew that a person was dying, and we were told that when the time came someone would come in and let us know, and when the end came that's exactly what happened.

Those kind of cases I don't doubt, as there's warning.  It's the sudden disappearance, and then the sister or someone coming in to tell us so-and-so died that gets me wondering.  Call me cynical, but doubt always creeps in when I hear this.  I have no doubt that some number of death notices are real, but I just as well have no doubt that some are not.

The question isn't "do people fake their own deaths in SL or other online words?"  That answer is definitely "yes."  I've known of a couple cases where the dead person was spotted later on in a new avi but looking and acting the same as before.  The correct question is "why would a person fake their own death?"  I'd like to offer a few ideas in a non-exhasutive list for why I think some people do in fact fake their deaths:

1)  Involvement Level Too High -- some people get extremely involved in world, and suddenly find they are attached to a person or persons they would rather not be with.  It may be too hard to just end the relationship(s) -- in fact, they may truly realize that anything short of death is going to have a crazy person IMing them day and night, causing havok,and so feel the only way to extricate themself from that situation is to "die."

It's more tempting to this, IMO, if a person has given some out-of-world contact info, such as emails, plurks, twitters, etc, and knows that the haranguing will not just happen inworld, but all over the Net where they are.  I'm not saying this is a good way to deal with such a thing, but it's the most understandable.

2)  No Guts -- rather than the person above, who realizes the only "out" is a death notice, this person just has no guts.  They want to end their relationship(s), but rather than be honest and deal with the outcome, they feel it's better to just hurt others by faking a death and getting out fast.  This person probably already has the alt all ready, and is already creating a new life for themselves when the "death notice" come in.

3) First LIfe Getting Dangerously Close -- some people get involved in SL or other worlds in a very deep, emotional and even intimate way, but their First Life spouse/partner/SO doesn't know anything about it.  Suddenly, the person finds their SO is getting more and more curious about what they do for 18 hours a day in the basement and starts asking questions, hovering around the computer, and perhaps starts making demands for information.  Suddenly, person knows if he/she doesn't quickly "die" their SL is going to be discovered, so a quick death notice, cancel account, and that's it, safe.  For now.

4) Lies Getting Out of Hand -- This is when 600lb guy sitting in mom's basement creates cute female avi, gets inworld, and finds that SL is just so much better than FL.  This person tells everyone he's really "Janie" the 110lb coed at Ohio State who is lesbian and into BDSM.  In order to seem "convincing" they start adding up lie after lie about themselves -- past relationships, kids, trips to the salon, etc -- to appear more like what they are trying to pass themselves off as.  However, after a while the lies start to pile up, they forget what they told to whom, and may be on the verge of being discovered by others that are seeing through the smokescreen.  So a quick "death" followed by a new female avi in another part of the world, and problem is "solved".

5) Bored -- some people just get bored with online life, they've done what they wanted to do, been with whom they want to be, and in order to make a quick exit, just "die."  

6)  Player -- some folks like to lead people on and then hurt them.  They'll get people connected to them, and then suddenly do some kind of anti-social thing to hurt them, and skip off laughing to find the next group of suckers.  I think this is the minority of "faked deaths," but I'm sure at least some small proportion of them can be attributed to sociopathic people that enjoy the pain they cause.

7) Narcissist -- Another minority type, I usually think of this when a well known person suddenly is claimed to be dead in FL.  If you remember the book Tom Sawyer, around in the middle of the book Tom and Huck Finn run away to the island in the middle of the Mississippi and stay there a few weeks, with everyone thinking they are dead.  They decide after a while it's time to go back, and arrive just in time for their own funerals, which they watch with keen interest.

I think some people simply like the fuss that's kicked up over their "passing."  Unlike the player above, this person doesn't really want to cause hurt, but just loves being in the limelight -- you could tell when they were alive.  Now, "dead," they get to watch the blogsphere go nuts over their passing, vigils and rememberance services inworld, and people crying about how wonderful they were.  They probably had some other reason to leave, but they went out with a 'bang' and are watching the emotional fallout with the same level of interest that Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn watched their own funerals.

As to what sets my BS Meter off, one thing I can think of is when someone simply comes in and gives the "news," or puts in on a well read blog or elsewhere, saying that "so-and -so just loved you all, and always spoke to me about his/her loves in SL..."  Really?  This person never mentioned you -- hell, we don't even know his/her real name -- but he/she told you all about us?  And he/she just happened to give you the login and passworld to their SL account?   I wonder how many people actually give out this info to any FL folks?  I'm sure some do, but it's just a bit beyond the pale that "sister Monica" was able to get in and send out a message when she's never been in SL herself...and know exactly who to send it to, for that matter.

Also when it's a rather infamous death, that really gets my BS Meter going.  I can understand the sudden heart attack, or car accident, but when nine month pregnant woman in Calcutta is hit by a bus and killed, and the baby dies a few hours later, and no one can find a shred of evidence of this story anywhere...well, that says a lot IMO.

Again, I do believe that some death notifications are real, I just think some percentage (and IMO, a rather percentage) are not.  It's too convenient and easy when so-and-so's family member, or friend, or webdesigner suddenly bears the bad news of our loved one's passing.  And yes, I do realize that it's important to deal with the grief and pain of the persons inworld, but as a social scientist, I'm trained to look for causes of human behavoir in an empirical way, and I have to say that empirically, a lot of these "Death Notifications" just don't cut the mustard in my book.

OK, call me a cynic and a horrible person, but there's one avi's opinion.  And no, I don't plan to "die" if I get flamed for this! :P

-V

sixwordstories
Whether you're in the mood for a creative challenge or you're short on time or attention span, this semi-addictive community is perfect for those who find flash fiction way long. Once you get the hang of it, you won't be able to stop. The prince turned into a frog. The girl ran home to mother. Tough to write. Easy to read. It's a double threesome of fun.

dailyfoodie
Delicious, ambitious, and occasionally nutritious dishes make for an eclectic, all-you-can-eat feast. Whether you're searching for recipes for your next dinner party or you're jonesing for a late-night brownie fix, your cravings are sure to be well sated. A warm and inclusive community that welcomes all orientations, from carnivores to vegans, from gourmands to junk-food junkies. Guaranteed bias-free, food-positive, and pan-epicurian.

The empire strikes back

In recent weeks, we've taken huge steps towards blocking spam accounts on LiveJournal. In fact, we've suspended as many as 30,000 accounts in a single day! We've implemented several pre-emptive measures to prevent the creation of spam accounts, and we've honed our detection of suspicious content. Spam bots are a crafty lot, so we'll continue to refine our tactics and keep up the good fight to keep you safe from spam attacks on LiveJournal.

RSS feeds again

If you're addicted to xkcd_rss, icanhaschzbrgr, or other syndicated feeds, we're pleased to report that we've resolved the update error that was mucking up your RSS feeds. While content was being pulled correctly, it wasn't being posted to the feeds themselves. Late last week, we finally nailed down what we hope was the root problem, so content should post properly. We thank you for your patience.

Wii have killer CSI Deadly Intent contests!

c_s_i

If you're a gamer who loves CSI, have Wii got news for you! c_s_i is sponsoring killer contests. Simply post a question to a member of the CSI crew. The winner will get a free copy of CSI: Deadly Intent for Nintendo Wii (with a retail value of $39.99) and get their question answered by a member of the CSI writing team! There's also a fantastic monthly contest. To enter, join c_s_i, play the online version of CSI: Deadly Intent, and respond to a two-part query for a chance to win a Wii! Entries will be judged on composition and originality. Sorry, but you must be a U.S. resident and over 18 years old to participate. Check out the rules here.

Enveloped in postcards

Last week, we asked you to send in postcards to help us decorate our drab concrete walls. Here's a photo of the results so far! Thank you so much and please keep them coming! You can mail them to Frank the Goat, Esq., c/o LiveJournal, Inc., 539 Bryant Street, Suite 210, San Francisco, CA 94107. Be sure to include your username, since we'll be giving ten random users paid account credits.

Photos of the week

If you haven't visited our new LiveJournal photo community, you're in for an amazing visual trip. LiveJournal users from around the world will take you on a scenic journey to everywhere. Post your own pictures or kick back and enjoy at lj_photophile. You can view some of this week's awesome photos after the jump. Please start tagging with geographic location, since we'd like to track all the places around the world represented in this community. Keep on commenting too!
( Read more... )

aiyatheydidnt
The Chinese version of ONTD, AIYA is a dynamic international community that welcomes users who share a love of contemporary Chinese pop culture. Dedicated to celebrity gossip and entertainment news, you'll enjoy gorgeous photos and breaking stories featuring the glitterati of mainland China, Taiwan, and Hong Kong.

wendylady2
Designed to rescue fashion victims everywhere, this Brit-based community reads like a rag-ezine. Published once or twice weekly, you'll view bizarre highlights of the global fashion scene through captivating photos and delightfully snarky editorial. Sit tight for a virtual fashion tour from the runways of New York to Milan to Paris and back home again to London in homage to the adage: you can't buy good taste.

soldiers_heart
A passionate community for veterans of all ages (mostly American), plus families, friends, and supporters. View poignant snapshots detailing life in combat and back on civilian soil in the form of original artwork, personal narratives, poetry, and photos. Be forewarned that members don't shy away from describing their disappointments, disabilities, and struggles.

I have not, and I don't think that conjuring up the dead is a good idea for several reasons:

1.  These people are at peace, let them alone!

2.  You don't know who or what you're really dealing with in the Spirit World, and sometimes doing these things can be, from what I've read, doors to let in rather unpleasant things.  Read Ed and Lorraine Warren's The Demonologist to see what can happen when one tries to contact the other side.

3.  I don't see why the dead would have any better or worse info for us, since they are on the other side, so to speak.  Isn't getting info what the Web is for? :P

I have heard of mediums talking to the spirits of dead people that are still here on earth but don't realize they are dead --- some kind of fast death that leaves the spirit thinking he/she's still alive.  Some hauntings are actually the dead person doing things they would "normally do" around the house.  I've read a few books where the medium talks to the spirit who replies, "what do you mean I'm dead?"  After a bit of chit chat the spirit moves on and the haunting ends.

My friend said after her beloved cat died, she heard it meowing around the house and scratching in the litter box when the other cat was fast asleep.  She spoke to it and said it was ok, and time to go to the other side, and the sounds stopped shortly after.  Make of that what you will!

Happy Halloweenie!

-V

10/31/09

EDIT: If you're reading this, our maintenance is OVER! The problem was not found on our equipment, which means we'll have to work with our ISP to fix this small problem -- which also means another maintenance window in the future -- but at least we have eliminated our side.

Thank you everyone, and a special shout out to rekoil for giving me a great suggestion AND also the opportunity to feel like I've just called in to a local radio station.

Have a great day, night or afternoon wherever you may be.

---

Hi everyone, sorry for the late notice but I'm going to have to do some testing on 1 of our 4 internet circuits TONIGHT; Friday night or Saturday morning depending on which time zone you're in.

Most of us shouldn't notice any impact, though there may be some slowness or lag when I switch traffic on to our other ISP circuits and then another hit when I stop the tests. If a page won't load or times out, try hitting refresh 1 or 2 times and it should load then. If it doesn't work at all... trust me, I'll be typing really really really fast to try to undo whatever I just did. Hopefully you'll have some Halloween candy (if you're in the USA and celebrate that kind of thing) nearby to take away the bitterness of a small site outage. :(

Here's the handy-dandy Website That I Always Use to get a feel for when the maintenance will start in your area. Our site traffic historically dips on Friday afternoons until Saturday morning which is why we tend to pick this time for maintenance work.

( tech details )

status.livejournal.org will, of course be updated before and after the maintenance window. Or else marta will get mad at me. :D

bt

Hat tip to dandelion Kimban -- I replied on her blog but wanted to expand here.

So apparently there is a big plan by Artists' Voice -- a group dedicated to stopping content theft in SL -- to have a 'Just Say No' day:  as they say on the blog on SDC:

On November 5th, let’s band together as a community and just STOP! We can show Linden Lab how much pull we actually do have in Second Life by pulling together and STOPPING for just 48 hours!


This is a wonderful idea, really.  I do support the voice of people rising up in righteous anger against something they find intolerable.  And I do think that some kind of consciousness-raising could occur.

But what is their main desire:  to "show Linden Lab how much pull we actually do have in Second Life."  I hate to tell the folks putting this thing together this rather sad fact, but here it is:

Linden Lab could really give a rat's ass less about your plan.

Now don't get me wrong, I don't think it's a bad idea.  But there is no way in hell that LL is going to be cajoled to do anything via this idea.  Nothing.  Zero.  Zip.  Nada.  Niente.  Why not?  Because it doesn't affect them in the place it would have to:  the bank account.

I've said this several times before on my blog and in responses around the Net, but I guess I have to say it again.  Linden Lab is interested in one thing only, making money.  That's it.  You, your content, your ideas, my ideas, my ability, my anything is only worthwhile to them vis-a-vis making boatloads of cash for their investors and themselves.

That's not to say that they don't care at all about content theft, but unless it's going to affect them in the almighty pocketbook, doing anything beyond basic policing isn't going to be any kind of priority for them.  So if the entire grid "stops selling" for a day, that's not going to mean anything to them since it doesn't affect them.  If no one blogs, wtf would they care about?  Heck, you could get as much of the population as possible walking naked around Zindra carrying huge signs saying 'STOP CONTENT THEFT NOW OR WE WILL NEVER PUT OUR CLOTHES BACK ON' and they would probably have a three martini lunch and laugh themselves silly.

I always find it rather amusing when people try to have some kind of 'Boycott Day' to protest something.  Around  here, local radio stations have tried to push a "Boycott Gas for a Day'' protests when gas prices get too high.  And so what?  Even if every single person in Los Angeles bought NO gas for a day, or two days, or TEN days, sooner or later we would all need gas again, we'd all go back to the pump and pay whatever inflated price at which they sell gasoline, and mumble and grumble and go back to normal.  Not a single gas station would close, not a single price would drop, nothing would happen. 

Same thing in SL, folks.  The folks at LL don't care about this strange take on Guy Fawkes Night.  At best they might lose a few LIndens Dollars at XStreet since they make a small percentage of each sale, but even that would be mostly if not totally insignificant.  The only way to affect them is to really hurt them financially, such as the vast majority of land owners (both mainland and islands) threatening to abandon their land and drop their tier to zero unless LL does something about content theft.  Only then would you see them rushing to do anything that's desired, and even then only if they believed, or could be credibly convinced, that the vast majority of landholders would do it.

Do you think the vast majority of landholders are really ready to do that, to carry that out to the bitter end?  Some?  Any?  You?  Me?

Thought so.

Now a "No Buying" day might raise some consciousness for the people that participate, but that's about all it will do.  As dandelion pointed out in her blog, a large mass of people enter SL, look around, bitch about not having enough freebies, and then leave.  And a lot of people that do stay don't give a rat's behind about "stolen content."  Only a few of us really do care -- I do, I hate seeing my friends that create things get ripped off, and I won't buy anything that appears to be stolen.  But that's only a few, the vast minority of residents, which is hardly enough to really get a social movement going.

So good luck to you folks at Artist's Voice!  Remember, remember the 5th of November!

Your F*ing voice of happiness and general bluebird of F*ing joy,

-V

In response to user comments from last week, we want to let you know that we'll remain LJ cut-free for the next month in order to get more eyeballs on our evolving newsletter. As for product coverage, that continues to be our top priority. For more granular detail, however, we recommend you join lj_releases.

Super-tweak for Yandex search

Some of our beta testers expressed privacy concerns using the Yandex search engine. Here's why: Last week, when you ran a search, you could see the usernames (and only the usernames) of everyone who commented on an entry, even if that entry was switched to Private or Friends Only after it was originally indexed. You could NOT see the actual comments from Friends Only or Private posts. In response to your input, we've implemented a fix to keep all user activity currently marked Friends Only or Private completely hidden. If you'd prefer your public content not to be indexed by Yandex, click here and use the settings labeled Search Inclusion (this covers your entire journal) and/or Comment Search Inclusion (which covers comments only). To test drive Yandex search now, click here.

Postcards from the edge

Several years ago, we asked LiveJournal users to send postcards to help us decorate our dull, white-washed offices. Since a good idea warrants repetition, we're at it again (same issue, new address). We hope you'll surround us with LiveJournal love by sending your postcards to Frank the Goat, Esq., c/o LiveJournal, Inc., 539 Bryant Street, Suite 210, San Francisco, CA 94107. We'll post snapshots right here. Be sure to include your username, since we'll randomly pick 10 lucky recipients to win free paid account time.

Conquer Writer's Block

Here are some excerpts from this week's most popular question of the day:

If a friend or relative makes a racist or homophobic remark, do you tend to confront them or let it slide? Are you more likely to confront them if it offends you directly or someone else who seems reluctant to speak up?

1. I find it easier to stand up for other people, and i wouldn't let it slide if they made a rude or hurtful comment.
2. Usually if a friend makes a racist or homophobic remark, I tend to let it slide. I think that while i would not say such things myself, I have no right to censor those around me.
3. This happens all of the time. I confront some relatives, but I refuse to if they are drunk or watch Fox News.
4. I'd let it slide if it was just a private remark... As much as I despise bigotry and intolerance, I know that you can't change people-they have to change themselves ...
5. Confront! confront! confront! Politely, but without equivocation.
6. SPEAK UP. Always, always, always speak up. Letting something slide lets ignorance win. No matter if it offends me directly, or someone else, I will confront the speaker and let them know that's not ok.
7. I don't get offended personally. As an immigrant, woman, gay and person of color if I took every single potentially offensive remark seriously I wouldn't get anything done.
8. I punch them in the balls. With my mind.
9. I do speak up, but often very timidly because I feel that I'm white and therefore I don't really have any authority to lecture someone on what's racist and what isn't...
10. Generally speaking, I do not let this shit fly, because it reduces me as a person, to this non-person and it replicates the destructive discourse that makes sure that sexual minorities, racial minorities, women, people with disabilities, trans people and every intersection thereof into something other than human... And sometimes... I'm just too tired to deal with it, so I roll my eyes, make a sarcastic remark and hope the conversation moves on quickly.

For more daily questions and user comments, join writersblock. FYI, we don't want to invade your privacy, so we haven't credited individual users for their responses. We'd appreciate your feedback on this!

Spotlight community of the week

We can't resist making one last midnight trip to the ol' pumpkin patch. If you adore crazy costumes, fiendish festivities, and bottomless candy consumption as much as we do, this community has just what it takes to light up your jack-o-lantern.


halloween_fan

Photos of the week

We received so many incredible photos, we had to close our eyes and point. We uploaded a selection of awesome images at our new lj_photophile community. Please join and start posting (try to keep the width at around 625 for the sake of consistency)! We'd love for you to tell us more about your photos! You can help us select spotlight photos by commenting on your favorites. Once again, we thank you for making our online world more beautiful!

shutter	pancetta	ilya_gorokhov

Curtains

Thanks, again, for tuning in. We look forward to seeing you next week.